How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the boogers off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the
whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to
bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
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How To Shower....
#5
Posted 01 June 2009 - 11:39 AM
How did you know Coralie?
Was that you peeping through the curtains??
Was that you peeping through the curtains??
Wins for 2008: Tui cap, tee and McD vouchers! Buzzy Bee prize pack from Little Treasures, $125 NZ Wine Atlas from Lucky Break, summer pack - Northern Advocate
Jan 09: 4 tickets, back stage passes and merchandise to Le Grande Cirque -Northern Advocate, Hell Boy 2 DVD from Stuff.co.nz,
Jan 09: 4 tickets, back stage passes and merchandise to Le Grande Cirque -Northern Advocate, Hell Boy 2 DVD from Stuff.co.nz,
#6
Posted 02 June 2009 - 10:55 PM
You forgot one of the most vital components of the man shower, the singing part:
http://www.youtube.c...h?v=qHR0G4O-I_U
http://www.youtube.c...h?v=qHR0G4O-I_U
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